Turn Me Loose…

The closer I get to separating from the military I find more and more reasons to despise some of the processes that are set in place and the people used to enforce them. The amount of delusion that I’m consistently surrounded with on a daily basis is sickening. Watching people convince themselves that they’re ok with a lot of the poor decision making performed by people put in places they’re severely under-qualified to be in. Now I understand that in the US military service is solely voluntary…one common phrase used against people that speak on their displeasure with the way things are is, “you signed up for this…”. Be that as it may, I believe that there should still be room for checks and balances. No one should feel comfortable with walking into their supervisors office and simply telling them what they want to hear. We all know the truth can be painful but the sting goes away quickly and there’s a peace in knowing the truth. But people insist on doing the opposite. Early in my career I was certainly ok with stretching myself to a point where I almost didn’t recognize myself physically and mentally. This came to a head around November of 2021….where I took my first drug test on board my new ship. I an attempt to get myself back up to speed and regain the of being at sea…I was so severely dehydrated that blood began coming out as I was providing my sample. From that point on I’ve made numerous attempts at putting myself first, some unsuccessful and others successful. In those successful moments I could feel a definite sense of accomplishment in knowing that I was able to hold off all attempts to wear me out. But in these unsuccessful moments there was a feeling of defeat I certainly didn’t like. So as I turn my focus to securing my future outside of the Navy there’s a strange need for people to remind me how much time I have left…which I already know because I’ve been counting down….27 months and counting.