Sucker for Self-Love

Bismillah.

I had someone ask me recently what was the most difficult part of learning to love yourself, my response was “being emotionally unavailable.”. I responded that way not because it’s difficult for me to deal with but more so for the people around me. It causes you to want to let people in but you’re extremely cautious for whatever the reason may be. For me it’s because all of this is new and I’m still finding my way in. And just like when a wound is healing, you won’t let anyone near it until your sure it won’t get hurt again. And how do you do this from an emotional standpoint? You turn them off to an extent, or you block them out until you’re sure you can control them. I chose to deal with mine head on simply because I know that if I don’t they’ll just sit and fester. That use to be how I dealt with a lot of things but once I realized I couldn’t and why, all of that changed. Learning to control your emotions period is a hard thing to do, let alone trying to go through everyday life as you do it. But it’s something I needed to learn to do at some point, why not now? I’m definitely viewing this part of my life as a turning point.

For me it’s an opportunity for me to make right some of the wrongs that come with living life. A chance to take better care of myself in all aspects…mentally, physically and spiritually. Believe it or not learning to control your emotions can have a huge impact in all three facets. It’ll improve your mental health by providing the clarity we all seek, that often escapes us when situations happen that play on our emotions. Most time causing us to overthink. We all know what stress can do to the body, especially in those instances where we stress eat…that’s never a good thing. Because we usually grab whatever is available instead of making the right decisions. The spiritual and mental aspects can be tied into each other, basically because when your overthinking it’s hard to be present. Whenever your mind is another place your spirit is always unsettled. So by learning to control your emotions you’ll make it easier to settle your spirit thus bringing peace to yourself and eventually the people around you.

In my personal opinion, I feel as though if more people understood the concept of controlling their emotions their lives would be totally different. I know for a fact mine would be. Now, I’m not saying place your emotions in a box and ignore them. That’s not control that’s avoidance. I’m saying address them as they come and deal with the accordingly. If there’s something/someone in your life that constantly makes you angry for whatever reason maybe it’s time to address them about it. This way you can move passed it effectively. Of course there’s going to be those things in life that you can’t control, but you have to learn to remove the emotional attachment to them. Trust me, once I learned this life became that much easier and humans became that much easier to deal with too lol. Getting to the point where I can feel myself being able to remove emotion from certain decisions is a powerful thing. Especially when it comes to dating! Because I’m definitely a sucker for love lol and taking the time to allow myself to emotionally unavailable for others has turned me into a sucker for self-love.

Asalaamu Alaykum.