Make it plain!

One thing I can definitely say about this blogging stuff is…it’s given me an outlet to air out my thoughts the best way I can. Through “written” word! I’ve always had a strange attraction to writing but never really took the time actually work on it. But at the same time I’ve always doubted myself or was too worried about the opinions of others to actually dive into it.

Could it be I’ve had a hidden passion for it this whole time? I guess time will tell. This past week has been like unclogging a drain….at first it was hard for me to find words let alone use proper grammar but once the clog was removed everything just flowed. I’m actually having fun with it!

I’m finding it easier to express myself verbally just from simply spilling my thoughts and publishing them onto this platform aka having this release! I guess by me having the horrible habit of bottling things up it created clutter in my mental and my thoughts weren’t making it from my brain to my mouth properly and it showed…especially in my relationships. I’d have so much to say but it just wouldn’t come out unless I wrote it down.

But now going forward I know better so I’m obligated to do better! Speak it as I think it! I have a huge problem with sugar coating what I’m feeling…thinking that if I say it in a softer way it won’t be as offensive. That was until I wound up with someone who was like that….annnnnnnddddd I hated it!!! But at the same time couldn’t be mad because they literally were a reflection of me! It was the universe showing me myself through her and I had no choice but to fix it. Now am I as blunt as I probably should be? Naw, not yet and I don’t think I ever will be but….I can’t keep holding to my thoughts.

Being an over thinker has come and gone…it usually shows up in those moments where I haven’t been 100% clear about my intentions and wound up telling myself “why didn’t you say that when you had that chance?!” So now…my opening line is “where do you see yourself 5-10 years from now?” I know it sounds interview-ish but I feel it establishes what I’m looking for. That question I’ve noticed in the 2-3 weeks I’ve been it I’ve been asking has helped me weed out the “time wasters” and the bullshitters.

I’m getting better y’all…I promise lol.